Pomeny

Shen Qingqiu had put off wedding dress shopping for far too long.

Her original idea was to browse the internet and have it shipped over– she didn’t feel like going out of her way for something she was going to wear once, but Luo Binghe offered to go dress shopping with her. She just looked so cute with those glittering stars in her excited eyes that she ended up changing her mind.

While this was a fake wedding, it felt like such a bonding moment between them. Didn’t the bride’s best friend usually help the bride to choose a dress? Maybe even cry because of how beautiful the bride-to-be looked?

Luo Binghe was such a pretty crier.

Her tears made the shine in her dark eyes even brighter, highlighting the stars in her eyes. Her lashes became longer and thicker, appearing very doll-like with the way she would blink. Her cheeks and the very tip of her nose turned a rosy pink, making her look like a blooming fairy.

After making plans, Luo Binghe recommended a shop she had stumbled upon, so they agreed to meet there. Since she was going to try on dresses, Shen Qingqiu opted for an outfit that she can easily slip off, so she went for a slinky green maxi slip dress and matching heels, as she was most likely going to wear heels with her wedding dress.

Luo Binghe was already outside the shop, wearing a cold expression on her face that quickly changed into a smile when she noticed Shen Qingqiu.

Although her little white sheep was as pretty as always, she has been opting for a darker-- and sexier-- wardrobe as of late.

Gone were the soft, loose fabrics and delicate pastels, replaced by form-fitting silhouettes in shades of deep red and pitch black. Even her makeup has changed: the shimmery, almost girlish makeup exchanged for sultry eyeliner and a dark red lip.

Case in point-- matching with her dark red lip is a satin choker with little silver charms that glittered underneath the sunlight, attracting the eye to her long neck. A black, off-the-shoulder blouse was tucked into a rather scandalously short pleated red skirt that made Shen Qingqiu blush.

Where are your shorts, young lady?!

Luo Binghe didn’t stop there, and even opted for chunky black platform shoes, making her absolutely tower over everyone and cause Shen Qingqiu to actually look up at her for once.

Simply put, Luo Binghe went from looking like an innocent fairy to looking like a seductive succubus.

Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but applaud the drastic aesthetic change. Yes, she missed her sweet little pastel princess, but she just looked so good with her new wardrobe.

A round of applause for the goddess!

“Jiejie!” Luo Binghe nearly skipped. She hugged Shen Qingqiu tightly as though she were seeing her for the first time in a decade.

“Binghe, don’t run so fast, what if you fall?” she scolded.

Luo Binghe somehow managed to blink up at Shen Qingqiu, looking at her from underneath her eyelashes. “Jiejie would never let me fall,” she insisted.

Ah, Luo Binghe really had too much faith in her. In the (hopefully unlikely) scenario where Luo Binghe were to fall, the most Shen Qingqiu could do was act as a poorly stuffed cushion to make sure not a single strand of hair on her pretty head even touched the floor.

Walking inside, they were immediately greeted by a rather enthusiastic attendant. Luo Binghe did her best to dismiss her, but Shen Qingqiu felt bad and gestured at Luo Binghe to let her be.

It was likely she got commission on sales, so as long as she did her job, Shen Qingqiu didn’t see any reason to shoo her away.

She should have listened to Luo Binghe.

After stepping out of the dressing room, Luo Binghe shot the attendant a disgusted glare.

Shen Qingqiu couldn't even scold her for being mean-- it was a miracle she hadn’t been fired if this was her first recommendation!

Despite being quite tall, the full tulle skirt swallowed her up whole, making her look like she got eaten by a large bedazzled cloud.

She looked like a child playing dress up with mommy’s things!

The glamor didn’t stop at the bodice, either. It went down the skirt as well, in what she assumed were supposed to be graceful rivulets. For some demented reason, the designer of this dress also gave the hemline ruffles, of all things, as if the dress wasn’t busy enough.

And don’t get Shen Qingqiu started on the fabric… disgustingly glitzy!

Crystals superimposed upon other larger crystals, it was just too much!

Don’t get her wrong, the beading must have taken MONTHS to do-- the craftsmanship wasn’t at fault at all. What was wrong with it was the fact that Shen Qingqiu would never be caught dead in something this ostentatious.

She wasn’t Xiao Gongzhu!

No, no, no-- really, how does that attendant still have a job? Did she not see Shen Qingqiu’s simple yet elegant outfit when she first walked in?

She herself shot the attendant a doubtful glare for wasting her time, who seemed oblivious at the obvious distaste in her customer’s face.

“I believe we can take it from here, thank you,” Luo Binghe told the attendant, the thank you said as a harsh dismissal.

Despite the fakeness of that thank you, Shen Qingqiu thought Binghe was being incredibly kind.

You need to change your career path, lady!

Retire, even!

The pair ended up browsing on their own, Luo Binghe digging though every single row like she was the bride-to-be while Shen Qingqiu leisurely browsed as though she were window-shopping.

When she found the discount rack, Shen Qingqiu started looking at the dresses seriously until she found one that looked decent. Looking at the price tag, she immediately let Luo Binghe know she was going to try it on.

Shen Qingqiu returned to the platform with the second option, Luo Binghe sitting patiently like the good little lamb that she was.

It was a beautiful off-the-shoulder mermaid dress, completely form fitting. The fabric was an extremely sheer floral mesh lace that hid absolutely nothing, as Shen Qingqiu squinted and realized she could see some freckles peeking through from her reflection in the mirror a few feet away.

In spite of that, what kept it from being risqué were the matching flower appliqués painstakingly threaded all over the dress, making the sheerness look rather tasteful.

Turning to her side, the dress conformed smoothly to her figure, curving in a flattering manner all the way down until the fabric flared out to form the mermaid silhouette.

As a tall and thin woman, the slight curves she had were reserved to her waist and hips: everything else was as flat as cardboard. The lack of a cleavage or ass didn’t faze Shen Qingqiu, but she couldn’t deny the real miracle this dress was conjuring up as she gawked at the ass the dress managed to give her.

“Binghe, this one is quite nice,” she said, still stunned. She ran a hand from her lower back and down to her lower thighs in disbelief.

10/10, no notes!

“You look stunning, but it doesn’t really feel like you,” Luo Binghe said honestly.

Shen Qingqiu hummed in agreement.

While the dress was beautiful, part of the reason she picked it out was because it was on the discount rack. It had already been altered to fit a previous bride who decided to not get married after her ex-fiancé cheated on her.

Good for her!

Glancing back to watch Luo Binghe, whose eyes lingered quite low, she asked.

“Well, isn’t that a good thing?”

Even if she was swiping Tianlang-Jun’s card, she refused to waste such a large sum of cash on something she was only ever going to wear for a couple of hours. As long as it looked good on her and fit her well enough, then it was the right dress.

This wasn’t a real wedding, so why should she pick something she loved?

Luo Binghe pouted. “I actually went to find a dress while you were changing, jiejie. Why don’t you try mine, and if you still like this one, then buy this one?”

Ah, her sweet white lotus, so nice and kind to help her out with this stupid idea of hers with her full support.

Well, it wouldn’t hurt to try it on, at the very least. From Binghe’s expression, she’d be heartbroken if her jiejie didn’t at least try on the dress she painstakingly found for her.

“Ok, ok, let me try the one you found,” she said.

A bright smile shining her way nearly blinded Shen Qingqiu, who had stepped down from the platform to pat Binghe on the head.

Please, Binghe, stop dazzling innocent bystanders with your unnatural beauty!

This time around, Luo Binghe entered the dressing room to help her into the dress. For a brief moment, a drop of embarrassment went through Shen Qingqiu, as she opted to wear an old bra of hers that didn’t match her underwear at all.

Ah, who fucking cares about that?! Shen Qingqiu doubted that even Luo Binghe, the perfectionist that she is, bothered to match her undergarments together.

Brushing her hands of the matter, she let her slip dress fall to the floor and bent down to pick it up.

Something inside Shen Qingqiu withered away at the look on Luo Binghe’s face as she looked down at her. She wanted to say her eyes were full of judgment, but that wasn’t quite right. If anything, the expression on Luo Binghe’s face looked darker, as if she were a hungry wolf looking at easy prey.

Goosebumps quickly erupted on her skin, a shiver going down her spine.

“Isn’t it cold here? Let’s hurry up!”

Somehow, Shen Qingqiu slid on the dress without actually knowing what Luo Binghe picked out for her, only feeling that it was silky smooth against her flushed skin.

When she got her arms stuck in the bodice of the dress, a large hand helped to pull down on the dress while the other grabbed both of her wrists to stop her from flailing around.

Wow, her little sheep really was strong, wasn’t she?

Shen Qingqiu blew on the pieces of hair sticking out of her up-do and unlocked the door once the dress fell on her body properly without looking at Luo Binghe.

Catching her breath on the podium, she had to admit that Luo Binghe had good taste.

The third dress suited Shen Qingqiu the most: simple, yet elegant.

Comprised of silk and a sheer layer of intricate lace laid over top, it gave anyone who wore it an ethereal aura. Because the bodice and the skirt were made out of one long sheet of fabric, it made her long, willowy figure look even more graceful than usual. The hem in the front of the dress was asymmetrical because of the lace, and the train ran long enough to stun, making Shen Qingqiu look like a beautiful nymph.

The square neckline and thin straps suited her elegant neck and brought attention to her delicate collarbones. While the neckline was quite low for Shen Qingqiu’s tastes, she begrudgingly admitted to herself that the dress wouldn’t have looked as nice if the neckline were higher. It flowed beautifully along her body, but the waist was a bit too loose-- she would have to get it altered.

“Ah,” she sighed, “I was hoping to get something that fit.”

She could see how Binghe’s eyes trailed over her slowly in front of the mirror, lingering on her waist before piping up, “Jiejie, let me do something.”

As stepped up onto the platform and got close, her perfume hit Shen Qingqiu’s nose-- it was that intoxicating blend of flowers and spice. Hands larger than her own reached out, hidden behind her back. They trailed down her long, silky hair before twisting it around to hold it up and away.

The dress had a low back, going in a v-line shape ending right below the shoulder blades. A finger slid down the low v-line as it reached its destination. With a strong grip, Binghe pulled at the silk straps criss-crossed at the waist.

Shen Qingiu’s eyes went wide and she let out a surprised gasp.

She would have nearly fallen down the platform if it weren’t for Binghe quickly keeping her from moving. The grip on her hair tightened, and her right hand grabbed her waist firmly.

An odd sound wanted to come out of her mouth, so she quickly bit her bottom lip, nearly hard enough to bleed. Her reflection showed her face blooming red from her cheeks and up towards the corners of her still wide eyes.

Most of Binghe’s face remained hidden, in part because of Shen Qingqiu’s own body blocking her from view. The other reason was because shiny, soft waves cascaded down most of Binghe’s face. In spite of that, her right eye was fully visible, half-lidded and dark as she tightened Shen Qingqiu’s dress.

She felt her heart pounding faster the longer she stayed standing there, letting Binghe slowly pull at the surprise corset on the dress. For some reason, she started to feel extremely hot, her breathing picking up slightly as Binghe’s grip on her hair tightened.

What was wrong with her?!

Was she having a heart attack?!

It must be the fact that she decided to come on an empty stomach.

This is what she gets for not being a responsible adult, but wouldn’t that give her low blood pressure? If anything, she felt like her veins were going to explode and ruin this beautiful dress.

Binghe let out a content hum as she finished fixing the back. Her left hand pulled her hair to the side, letting it fall down Shen Qingqiu’s front. Now that the waist was cinched in, Binghe ran her hands down the sides of her waist.

The dress fit like a glove.

“There,” Binghe said, her eyes intense as her hands slid lower to her hips. They made eye contact with one another in the mirror.

“I think this is the one, jiejie.”

Shen Qingqiu nodded without a word.

Shen Qingqiu was no stranger to working overtime, yet the building never failed to unnerve her when it was just the three of them. Since it would be excessive to have electricity run through the whole building for three people, only their floor had any, leaving her with no choice but to make her way up the dark, empty building by foot, her own beating heart as her only companion.

Instead of seeing the receptionist like she always did, Shen Qingqiu was faced by an empty front desk, enveloped by dark shadows. Walking past the empty lobby, she reached the door leading to the staircase. Creaked loudly, the sound echoed throughout the front entry of the building. Slowly but surely Shen Qingqiu climbed the stairs, her heels clacking on the hard floor, the only movement proving any significant sound in the staircase.

For security reasons, the staircases were built to only ever go up by five floors, making anyone who needed to go higher up step into the floor and walk to the other side of the floor to reach the next set of stairs. Greeting Shen Qingqiu was an empty office floor, lacking any human life besides her own.

With a lack of overworked employees clacking away at their keyboards, a lack of multiple phones ringing only to be answered by tired voices, and a lack of strong coffee brewing by the hour, she always felt like she was stepping into a liminal space, just waiting to get lost forever, only ever seeing sterile walls and empty desks devoid of life.

It didn’t help that some of her recurring nightmares consisted of her walking in this very building, completely alone. When she was especially sleep-deprived, her subconscious mind got confused, taking reality for a horrible dream, keeping her in limbo like the souls in Asphodel Meadows forever wandering through flowers, yet she herself did not get the luxury of wandering through nature; instead, she was forced to wander through empty desks and black screens reflecting her own blood-drained face. It often left her feeling off-kilter until she managed to reach her own floor and find herself with company.

Luo Binghe.

Binghe.

Bingge.

Bingmei.

Bingbing.

Bingjie.

Bingy.

Bingdi.

What a wonderful nicknaming scheme we’ve created to refer to the little sun of SVSSS!

Each and every iteration (including the venerable Luo Bingzu) all encompass different versions of our beloved bleating sheep (please ignore the wolf fangs-- our child doesn’t bite!).

But a question lingers in my mind, gnawing with the hunger of a person deprived of nutrition: why did it take us so long to create our dear Bingdi?

Granted, I’m housed in the Twitter (RIP) and Bsky side of the SV fandom, but Bingdi is a relatively new iteration of Binghe. Bingdi is about a year old versus Bingjie, who is (as far I’m aware) a couple of years old, ready to attend elementary school. Hell, she may even be old enough to be in middle school, yet our little didi is barely a toddler.

We have often discussed how Gender bingqiu are. It’s one of the most appealing things about them as characters; the ability to encompass the wide spectrum of the human condition that is gender. It’s also the reason I don’t mind them being ‘straight-bent’ (too much) despite absolutely hating when queer couples are bent in that manner (but I digress).

Of course, the answer to this question is not quite simple. If we take a look at Bingge, we see the obvious, blaring depiction of toxic masculinity. If we were to do the inverse-- to acknowledge the gender binary most societies still function on and therefore acknowledge its twin-- toxic femininity AKA Bingjie.

To be a feminine (the standard, the original, the expectation) woman is to be alienated from the natural human form: no body hair (because even though humans are mammals it’s unacceptable for a woman to remain in her natural form. why? because ew! hygiene!), plucked and neat eyebrows (until they become Trendy again), eyelashes the length of our student-debt loans (did you know the glue used for eyelash extensions can cause you to go blind?), and a face treated like an imperfect canvas (after all, a woman’s natural face is unsightly-- eyebags, which look wonderful on men, makes a woman look tired and/or ill, and we can’t have that!).

We live in patriarchal and capitalistic societies that have a vetted interest in what a woman should be: available, obedient, and beautiful. Some characteristics are contested while others are widely accepted even amongst women; the amount of times women have insisted they shave/wax/laser off their body hair because of sensory issues (often said with an adamant and defensive tone) is much too high for me to believe they are being truthful.

There is nothing wrong with admitting to succumbing to the pressure of beauty standards (after all, women who refuse to have a hairless body have expressed instances in which they were harassed or attacked by strangers or their own loved ones for not conforming), yet for the societies we live in, it is not enough to bend to their will-- we must act as though their demands are biological impulses. We must behave as though we are following human instincts with a smile.

We must smile as these beauty standards are enforced upon us; we must smile while being told we exist for the consumption of men (because of course we want to have a husband and children in a perfect little white picket-fenced house!); we must smile while being told to consume the products promising to turn us into our best selves (so long as we continue to buy buy buy!).

This smile must be stunning; pearly-whites on full display and lips shiny with lipgloss or matte with lipstick (preferably red-- after all, studies show that men prefer red lipstick!). The rest of the face ought to match as well; from poreless, porcelain skin to eyelashes and eyebrows befitting of a woman, the face-- the mask-- must be immaculate.

Who else could and would wear this kind of mask with ruthless perfection other than Bingjie?

However, her dominance as the only cisswap/genderbent Binghe until recently still makes me question: why did it take us so long to create our dear Bingdi?

Yet another answer to my question lingers in my brain: when we think of ‘a woman,’ more often than not, our brain imagines one that is undeniably feminine. We are all too used to one kind of woman; a pretty, doll-like face (of which Bingy has); one with long, luscious hair flowing down to her itty-bitty waist (another thing Bingy possesses); the eyelashes of an angel (Shen Qingqiu has certainly said much about Bingy’s); and the final cherry on top, she’s the owner of a beautiful glass heart (ding-ding-ding-ding! homerun!)

If we were to compare Bingmei, Bingge, and Bingjie, Bingmei and Bingjie have more in common: in regards to appearance (focusing on fanon here), Bingmei is often depicted with a softness (for example, Bingmei’s wavy hair versus Bingge’s straight hair) that Bingjie wears like an intoxicating yet artificially sweet perfume. Bingmei does not hesitate to cry to get what he wants, and likewise, Bingjie would also cry ghibli-esque tears to get her way. Both would look cute and pitiful on purpose if it means accomplishing their goals. While Bingmei only behaves like this with the love of his life because 1) Shen Qingqiu loves babying him and Binghe is his baby and 2) because he feels comfortable showcasing vulnerability to his husband-wife-father-mother-shizun even as an act, Bingjie would do this with anyone and especially with men (until Shen Yuan comes and ruins her for life, but I digress yet again).

Bingjie is the ideal woman. She maintains herself as expected and exists in the unrealistic realm of femininity like a blooming flower, ready to be admired and plucked. She’s cognizant of this and utilizes her position in society as she sees fit; stealing boyfriends or using her charm to sway others to do her bidding. Of course, she is not always portrayed as such, since some opt to adopt Bingmei’s personality in their depiction of Bingjie, but in this case, I am emphasizing her characterization when she is Bingge’s counterpart.

Bingdi is not the ideal woman. Pretty face, yes, but without any makeup to compensate for the shortness of her hair and possessing a masculine wardrobe, she is the kind of woman society hates the most. Women are not treated with dignity nor respect in patriarchal and capitalistic societies, yet Bingdi opts out of performing the kind of femininity society tolerates.

A little over a year ago, I asked on Bsky: i know we default to bingjie when we talk ab bingjie but ive been thinking about bingmeimei or does that not work. i would like to know . And a dear mutual responded: i like to use bingjie for bingge and bingdi for bingmei in my head but this is also related to my butch sv binghe agenda.

Despite my love and exploration of Bingdidi, what past-me asked lingers in my head-- I defaulted to a (more) feminine nickname for Bingmei’s counterpart; not because I was unfamiliar with didi, but because I could not imagine on my own a non-feminine cisswapped/genderbent Binghe.

Gender and gender expression are concepts I’ve always thought about, tormented as I have been by unrealistic beauty standards, yet this brief fandom moment of my life highlighted that I still had much to unlearn. Primarily, I had to unlearn my expectations of what a woman should look like.

In the midst of this, I was working on my helter skelter AU and I ended up completely re-vamping my outline. In the end, the themes I explored and am exploring in that AU were inspired not only by the movie (which I highly recommend please watch Helter Skelter (2012)) but by the fact that Bingdi did not exist until recently. Even at this point in time, (please correct me if I’m wrong because I have to confess, I have not read any Bingqiu/Bingyuan fic written this year #imsosorry) writers have not explored Bingdification the same way as they have Bingmeification (and if someone has please send me the link!!!)

This casual essay is not meant as an accusation against the SV fandom, but rather a potential explanation for why it took us so long to embrace Bingdi-- not only is Bingy (our Bingy, Bingmei) feminine, but society has influenced us to only ever imagine one kind of woman: the ideal woman.

Bingjie neatly fits such an ideal: she is the woman of your dreams. A siren stepping away from the sea. An angel descending into the human world. A succubus promising to blow your mind. A beautiful maiden waiting for her true soulmate.

Bingjie can be the kind of woman you want her to be: a pretty doll customized to your tastes.

Bingdi is the kind of woman we want to be: free and unrestrained by society.

Nevertheless, I’m so glad for the birth of Bingdi! Thank you wifebeam for having such a winkly, juicy brain!